Sunday, November 29, 2015

Nigeria's Odion Ighalo becomes England's highest goalscorer in the year 2015

Watford striker Odion Ighalo continued his unbelievable season in the Premier League on Saturday, as the 26-year-old Nigerian international opened the scoring against Aston Villa. The Super Eagles striker now has to his credit, some amazing stats. Ighalo has been directly involved in 10 of the 13 Premier League goals Watford have scored this season. That’s 77% of the goals. Moreover, Ighalo has now scored eight goals in the Premier League this season, while his tally in 2015 is awesome. Alongside Harry Kane of Tottenham , Ighalo has now scored 24 goals in the calendar year: which is the highest amount of goals of any footballer in the top four flights of English football. Wow!

Friday, November 27, 2015

Funny Photos: Dos And Don'ts For New Fathers

Look at these funny photographs of how to deal with a child. The over all rules and regulations. Try not to laugh alone.

Continue reading after the page break bellow.

Jokes: See what happens when your Ex Is Your Wedding Planner (Pic)


At the point when ur ex is your wedding organizer, he/she will make u stroll in the valley of the shadow of death, he/she will trust you never stroll through it.

Sunday, November 22, 2015

Real Madrid 0-4 Barcelona (Neymar and Suarez humiliate Rafa Benitez's men)


The Barca players were in full throttle as they demolished rivals Real Madrid in the first El Classico of the season at the Bernabeu. Lionel Messi was only fit enough for the Barca bench after returning from nearly two months on the sidelines with a knee injury, but Neymar and Suarez carried on their fine form with first-half strikes before Andres Iniesta and Suarez added two more after the break. This will only heap more pressure on the shoulders of Real Madrid coach Rafa Benitez.

Friday, November 20, 2015

Definition Of Wahala!


When the person interviewing you at your new job is the same guy you insulted in traffic.
You go apologise tire.

When you tell your friend “your mama!!!” and turn around and see his or her mum staring at you.
Meeehn, u go collect plenty slap.

When Mosquito lands on your father’s bald head and u try to kill it with your bare hands.
You must provide d proof ohh, or else…:

Wednesday, November 18, 2015

"They said they were going to retire me, I retired their entire nation" - Zlatan Ibrahimovic

Zlatan Ibrahimovic was the savior last night as the Swedes qualified for Euro 2016. The game ended in a 2-2 draw against Denmark but the swedes qualified courtesy of a 2-1 first leg win. A stunning 76th minute free-kick from the PSG striker helped send Sweden into next year's European Championships.



Tuesday, November 17, 2015

Jokes: Akpos and John turn on T.V


One day Akpos and John were
watching T.V when
the news came on, showing a man
standing on a
bridge about to commit suicide,
suddenly Apkos said “I’ll bet N500 that the guy won’t
jump off”,
John said I bet N500 that he will
jump.

Continue after the jump.

Monday, November 16, 2015

Kunrobi Things: Akpos starts touching his girlfriend.


Akpos starts touching his girlfriend.
Girl: "baby the bible speaks against
fornication, it
says our body is the house in which
God dwells.
Akpos starts jumping up happily, removed his
shorts,
smiling sooooooo wide.

Girl: "what are you doing & why are
you soooooo
happy?"
Akpos: "I was glad wen they said
unto me, let
us go
into the house of the Lord! So if our
body is the
house of the Lord, let's enter with joy.
Describe Akpos In one Word

Akpos Returns from Work, Enters sitting room to meet his wife..


Akpos comes back from work. As he enters the sitting room, his wife asked:
Wife: Darling! Why are you looking so sad?
Akpos: Sweetheart, I have a problem at my office.
Wife: Don’t say you have a problem. You should say we have a problem because we are now married. Your problem is also my problem.
Akpos: OK, we have a problem in our office.
Wife: And what is the problem, darling?
Akpos: Our secretary is pregnant for us.
Wife: Whaaat!!! The wife fainted!

Akpos got employed at a big company


A Guy Akpos got employed at a big company as a cleaner.
On his 1st day at work, he picked up a phone, dialed a number and shouts; Get me some tea, quickly!
The voice from the other side responded; You fool! You’ve dialed the wrong number. Do you know who you are talking to?.
Akpos replied; No.
The voice said; I am the CEO of this company.
Akpos shouted; Do you know who you are talking to?.
The CEO replied; No.
Akpos said; Good! And puts down the phone.
One word for Akpos.

Friday, November 13, 2015

World cup qualifier ends in a draw: Swaziland 0 - 0 Nigeria (Highlight )


The Super Eagles regardless of getting a charge out of larger part of ball possession in the game left away with only a point in a World Cup qualifier match. The match with Swaziland ended in a draw. Watch highlights 
bellow..

Jokes- Akpos' Landlord


Akpos' Landlord

was complaining that Eazy
had impregnated his
daughter. .
As Akpos over-heard the
landlord shouting, he came
out of his apartment and
asked the landlord.

Thursday, November 12, 2015

Akpos, Principal and Aunty Susan


Aunty Susan was having a problem with Akpos in her class.

Akpos said 'M'am, I should be in SS3, i'm smarter than my friend Musa and he's in SS3'.
Aunty Susan had heard enough of Akpos' complains & took him to the Principal's office.
She explained everything to the Principal who decided to test Akpos with some questions that an SS3 Student should know.
PRINCIPAL : What's 3+3?
AKPOS : 6
PRINCIPAL : 6+6?
AKPOS : 12.
And so on.
The Principal asked Akpos many questions and he got them right
.

Akpos sneaks into Oga at the top’s room


Akpos who was a houseboy
usually sneaks into
his Oga’s room, drinks his wine
and adds water
to top it up. One day his Oga
bought a new wine
called pasties, it was a french
wine that
Continue..

Jokes: Akpos gets pulled over for over speeding


Akpos gets pulled over for speeding 88mph in a 45 zone. The cop asks for his drivers license and Akpos says, "I'm sorry officer, but my license was suspended after my 5th Accident." The cop asks for his registration and Akpos says "It's in the glove compartment, but it's not in my name because I stole this car in a car jacking and I killed the woman that owns the car and stuffed her in the trunk and the gun I used is in the glove compartment.

Akpos' next door Neighbour...


Akpos' next door neighbour
had a baby.
Unfortunately, the little
baby was born with no ears.
When they
arrived home from the hospital, the parents invited Akpos' family
to come over and see their
new baby.

Akpos visits a Friend


Akpos went on a visit to see his friend. As they were discussing, his friend's wife, who was present, sat opposite Akpos with her legs seductively opened. Akpos was visibly aroused. When his friend briefly entered the room, his wife said to Akpos, "do you like what you see"?

Akpos nodded.

Wednesday, November 11, 2015

Akpos works hard at the office


Akpos works hard at the office but spends two nights each week bowling, and plays golf every Saturday. His wife thinks he's pushing himself too hard, so for his birthday she takes him to a local strip club. The doorman at the club greets them and says, 'Hey, Akpos! How ya doin?'

His wife is puzzled and asks if he's been to this club before. 'Oh no,' says Akpos. 'He's in my bowling league. When they are seated, a waitress asks Akpos if he'd like his usual and brings over a Budweiser.

Akpo Jokes: Akpos admiring his neighbour’s Wife..


Akpos has been admiring his neighbour’s
wife. The neighbour’s wife always gives him
this seductive smile whenever they greet
each other. Akpos didn’t know how to
approach the lady to tell her of his desires …

Akpos gets a Job


Akpos was once employed in a

school and he went to
the
class to teach.
The first day.
Akpors: Good morning students
Students: Good morning sir!
Akpos: I'm going to be your new
biology teacher, so do u know
what we have this

Jokes: Akpos Toasting Super hot babe


Akpos: Hi babe, wasup?

Girl: i'm cool thanks!
Akpos: u're welcm, i'll like 2
knw u wella
Girl: i'm Tichick, 19, slim &
dark from
Lasgidi.

Between EMEKA and Akpos!


EMEKA: You are a fool Akpos! You
don't know anything!
AKPOS: Hahan Emeka! It's a lie!
EMEKA: It's true! I will prove it. If
you see two rays of light on the road
at night, what will you call it?
AKPOS: A car!
EMEKA: Ehen, but which kind of car?

Tuesday, November 10, 2015

Pics: Super Eagles Train at the National Stadium, Abuja


Pictures of the Super Eagles in Training today at the National Stadium Abuja. More after the jump.

Monday, November 9, 2015

A Man, Akpos visits an electronic shop.


A man named Akpos went to an
electronic shop.
He asked the shopkeeper;
What is the price of this
television?
The shopkeeper replied;
We don't sell our products
to Akpos.

Jokes: Ekaite and Akpos Conversation


Ekaite:Akpos,u wont belive it?
Akpos:What?

Ekaite:My phone fell down from my hand,i picked it up,switched it ON,and i recieved a mssg
Akpos:what mssg?
Ekaite:My account was credited...
Akpos:Wooow!let me try mine..

Akpos took to his heels,,after 40seconds,
Ekaite recieved a call from her friend( Ofego) that shes
is the one who transferred to her...
Aaaaaah!ekaite exclaimed..

Jokes: Conversation between Police & Akpos


Police : where do u live ?
Akpos : with my parents.
Police : where does ur
parents live?
Akpos : with me.
Police : where do u all
live ?

Sunday, November 8, 2015

Akpos Gets black eye , Tells his teacher about the Scenario

Akpos turns Albino.  Handsome or not ?

Teacher:- what's wrong?
Akpos :- our house is very small.
Me, my mum,my dad, we sleep on the
same bed.
Every night my dad asks, 'Akpos
r u sleeping?'

Jokes: Akpos & Abortion


kate: hello
akpos: yes babe
kate: i have a problem
akpos: what's dat baby, i
hope u are not pregnant
kate: am pregnant
akpos: who is responsible?
I hope
its not me

Between Akpos & his Girlfriend


Akpos: MTN people are eating our money
too much.
Girlfriend: Yes the stealing is too much.
Akpos: I got an idea, instead of using
phone,
why don't we use a pigeon in sending
messages like the old time,
just tie your message to it's leg if you want
to reply.
Girlfriend: I like what is in your head.
After an hour of waiting, Akpos' girlfriend
saw the pigeon in the window,
she checked it's
leg's but nothing there, she sent it back, just
a few minutes it
comes back, she
quickly grabs it but to her disapointment no
message again, she
sent it back.
After some few minutes, she opened the
window for the pigeon to come in, she
checked it's legs but still no message.
With much anger, she headed to Akpos'
house and shouted
"Akpos come here, you , you said you
will send message through this pigeon but
why
the three times it came to me, no message?.
Akpos: You don't get it...It's 3 missed calls
not message.

Akpos joining the Army


Akpos joining the Army:
Officer: We need you in the army.
Akpos: I’ll join but on three conditions.
Officer: Ok. what are the conditions?
Akpos: My first condition is that
I’ll not wear the uniform because it is too hard.

Saturday, November 7, 2015

Chelsea loses again!


Chelsea this evening lost 1-0 to Stoke City at the Britannia stadium and are now languishing close to the relegation zone. For a team who won the premier league last season this is the most contrasting of tales. The Blues, with embattled manager Jose Mourinho serving a stadium ban, enjoyed the better of the game in the first period, but failed to take any of the chans that fell their way.

Friday, November 6, 2015

Golden Eaglets Of Nigeria survive Mexico's 1st attack To Qualify For The Finals Of U-17 World Cup


Nigeria’s Golden Eaglets early this morning survived an initial Mexico’s scare to cruise into her eight final of the FIFA U-17 World Cup. The four-time champions booked a date with fellow African brothers Mali after beating the South Americans 4-2 in a six goal thriller at the Estadio Municipal Ester Roa in Conception .

Wednesday, November 4, 2015

Rooney finally scores a Goal !

The trolling may have gotten to Rooney and he stepped out against CSKA Moscow at Old Trafford to make a point. He bagged the only goal of the game to give Manchester United all three points. The game was on a knife's edge and the result could swing either way before Rooney's 79th minute intervention. The goal which is his 237th draws him level with Denis Law on Manchester United's all time highest goal scorer charts. It was also Manchester United's first goal in 404 minutes of footballing action. What a way to answer your critics.

Tuesday, November 3, 2015

Top 5 Music Labels That Influenced The Nigerian Music Scene In 2015


1. G-WorldWide Entertainment - This label was shot into the limelight this year after the huge success of its act Kiss Daniels' late 2014 released single "Woju" in the first quarter of 2015. With a star-studded remix which had A-listers Davido and Tiwa Savage on it, a street anthem was born, a 'banging' tune one could not easily hate and if "Woju" didn't hit it for anyone, "Laye" definitely did. Just like Davido, Kiss Daniels single-handedly put this label on the map this year and one can only see the future getting brighter for this label considering the talent of another of its acts- SugarBoy. Raba which is a collaborative effort between the aforementioned acts and DJ Shabsy is already a fan favourite and has hit it on certain charts this year and this gives the label the tag of one notable for a mention as an influential record label in the Nigerian music scene this year.

Monday, November 2, 2015

We Are Right Behind Mourinho – Mikel


Nigeria international John Obi Mikel has disclosed that his Chelsea teammates are giving their all for under fire manager Jose Mourinho in the wake of their 3-1 to Liverpool at the Stamford Bridge.
The Blues have made a false start in the English topflight and are currently ranked 15th with 11 points from 11 game.
According to the midfielder, only the ‘Special One’ holds the key to lift the team from their deplorable state insisting that his co-players are right behind him.
“The goals and the wins are not coming, but you can see we are playing for the manager and we are right behind him,” Mikel told Chelsea website.

ST